📌 My friend Epiphany Couch and I knew each other for years before we realized we had reverse family backstories. Right around the same time my great grandparents bought a parcel of land on the Yakama Indian Reservation, her great grandparents were selling their property and losing their foothold in their ancestral lands.

I got to see her at the opening reception for her most recent solo show last week, where we both pored over an allotment map of the Yakama Reservation, trying to find out who'd originally owned my family's property.

It was surreal to stand shoulder to shoulder, studying the squares of divvied-up land marked with hand-written names from a hundred years ago, acknowledging the dynamic that led to our friendship today. A young Dutch couple escaping famine-torn Holland in the 1920s, who finally found a home and hope in the fertile promised land of the Lower Yakima Valley... A Native family losing property promised in a betrayal of treaty rights, set adrift with nowhere to land.

Epiphany is an spuyaləpabš (Puyallup), Yakama, and Scandinavian/mixed European artist who tells challenging stories through mixed media. Her current exhibit uses beadwork, family images, archival documents, and Americana to explore a history of broken promises to Native people. If you're in Portland, OR, you can catch her work through November 16 at Souvenir (1233 NE Alberta Street, Portland).

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☕️ Speaking of telling challenging stories, I posted a reel earlier this week talking about remembering to give yourself space for the self-care that you might need after digging deep into your own soul to bare it in story. Even if it's something you believe you're fine talking about. The topic seemed to really resonate with folks, and it lines up with conversations I've been having with my current ghostwriting client lately as we delve into some rougher stories. So consider it a friendly reminder to yourself, too.

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🐠 I've been slowly digesting The Sea We Swim In by Frank Rose (a practical guide to "narrative thinking," and why it matters in a world defined by data), and I'm far enough in to say that I recommend it, but not far enough to give you a deep-thinking review. Stay tuned.

🧠 I felt personally attacked by this article by Katie Schuknecht on the Rescue Time blog—especially the line, "Once you accept that seasonal dips are real—and not just a sign of laziness—you’re better equipped to zoom out and look at the bigger picture. Our brains are built to operate in cycles, not at a flat, steady rate." I resonated with her thesis that the way we work shifts according to the season, and the best way to be productive is to stop fighting our natural cycles and embrace them. I especially appreciated her tips for transitioning into cozy work mode.

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🤯 In other "have you tried listening to your body?" news, I took a live training about CliftonStrengths with Becca Syme on Saturday. I first took the assessment in 2019, so last weekend I pulled up my report with my usual sense of frustration at the results.

Input and Intellection are my top two Strengths. I collect, I think, then I decide. I've always known that—when I’m stuck in a book, I go down rabbit trails until the well refills. That's all fine.

But the next two Strengths have always bugged me: Harmony and Consistency. Harmony means I want everyone to get along, and struggle to focus when the vibes are off. Annoying, but accurate. Consistency, though, always made me crazy. I work best in a routine, but I've never kept a rigid schedule. I'm a freelancer. I'm fine with inconsistency, even when it makes me less productive.

Becca helped me reframe it: the action of Consistency isn’t sameness, it’s predictability. Combined with my high Executing themes, last-minute plan changes scramble my brain. I don't need a consistent schedule, I need a predictible one to plan efficiently.

I left energized, and with a new productivity tool. If your habits frustrate you, interrogate the why behind them. Once you get that, it can unlock a whole new way of being.

NEED VS. DESIRE

My friend Curtis C. Chen had a short sci-fi story published in Playboy Magazine a few years ago.

This came up recently when he and a few other writer friends were over, and I ran upstairs to grab my prized signed copy. The next morning, as I was tidying up from our gathering, I started paging through the magazine.

I’d read Curtis’s story back when it first came out, but I hadn’t…you know.

Spent a lot of time reading the other “articles.”

So I was rather surprised this morning to learn what all is between the pages of a Playboy.

• There were a handful personality profiles of male celebrities—the men Playboy men want to be.
• There was a fascinating (and quite thought-provoking) feminist essay on women’s rage and the male gaze in cinema.
• There were a ton of interesting mini-essays about the direction of our society (this was the “future issue”), mostly all with a tone that challenged the reader to step up as part of a positive futuristic society.
• There was a pornographic-yet-charming comic strip about why men need to gain enthusiastic consent for sex.

What struck me as I was reading through the articles—yes, the actual articles—was this: Playboy is nailing the narrative gap of need vs. desire.

They deeply understand what their readers desire (hotties, scantily clad), and also what their readers need (reassurance, confidence, inspiration, community, connection).

Would the average Playboy reader articulate to himself, “I’m buying this magazine because it gives me confidence and makes me feel connected to a community?” Probably not. But I guarantee that’s a big part of the reason they keep coming back for the hotties and the articles.

(Side note, when I went to buy this copy years ago, I pointed out to the cashier that I was getting it because my friend had a story published in it. “So you can tell people there’s a local author in this one,” I said. “In case you have trouble selling copies.”

The cashier looked at me for a long beat. “We don’t have any trouble selling Playboy,” he said. Fair.)

Here’s what most people get wrong about storytelling in business—they focus on painting a pretty picture of the outcome, the promised land, without understanding why their audience wants to go there in the first place.

What does your audience desire? And, more importantly, what do they need—even if they can’t articulate that to themselves?

In marketing, this is your customer’s pain point. The exact problem they’re facing, the thing that keeps them up at night, and has them biting their nails during the day.

• They want to double their sales
• They want to learn to play the piano for their daughter’s wedding
• They want to communicate better with their partner

Those are all great outcomes. But when you put the lens of need/desire over that pain point, it helps you understand why those outcomes are so important to your audience.

—> Read the rest on the Story Rebel blog

🌺 Last month, I attended a storytelling workshop by Ashley Renders (@ashley.renders | Story Rich on Instagram), and it absolutely shifted the way I talk about my own story. She holds these regularly, and will be doing another live workshop this Friday. (Which I couldn't find a direct sign-up link for, so I encourage you to go poke around on her Instagram account and get on her newsletter for more info.)

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👁️ I know this is wildly niche, but I'm currently soliciting essays for a collection on seeing and being seen as a one-eyed person. If you know anyone who's been through eye loss and has a story to tell, please forward this call for submissions to them.

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🏴‍☠️ I've got a couple of spots left for 1:1 coaching through the end of the year! This can go one of two ways, depending on what you need. Sorry, that came out kinda Godfather, didn't it? "This can go one of two ways..." Anyway, if your an entrepreneur or business owner who wants to talk through how to tap into your story to sell, we can talk about that. If you're a non-fiction author who's struggling to wrangle your story into a book, I can consult with you on that.

Either way, take advantage of my remaining 1:1 coaching spots and start 2026 with a plan to knock your marketing—or your book—out of the park!

Hit reply and let's chat.